holding on to the railing instead of the wall
osaka
when i was looking up at the sky umeda building
in the week between steph travelled. she got home on saturday... or maybe it was friday.
on sunday we went to osaka.
we walked around and found den den town which is where all the electronics are.
we went to the sky umeda building and rode a glass encased esculator up to the Floating Garden.
it wasnt really a garden cause there were no flowers or grass or plants or vegetables or trees.
it was a big outside circle with a whole cut in the middle.
when you ride the esculator you can see all the way down to the bottom.
its a pretty big building.
it took me a while to get on the esculator.
me and steph were seperated by a family in between.
so instead i squeezed the rail and softly called stephs name
with a certain degree of panic
and a shrillness that often occurs in these situations.
at first a flat out refused to go up to the sky garden
because it was outside ie. not incased in glass ie. there were no protective walls to keep me from plunging to my death.
(vertigo is not the fear of falling but the fear of wanting to fall; the fear of an inability to stop yourself from jumping; a fear of succumbing to an often subconcious longing to let go- i myself have never trusted myself)
i told steph that i just could not do it
and i would wait down here while she went up there
but then i decided to go.
i wanted to brave for you.
and i decided that while i was in japan i am someone else and i can do things that i can't at home (it only works sometimes).
so we went up the long flight of stairs
and i held stephs hand
and i took deep breaths that were very very deep
and we made it outside
i hugged the wall quite literally
and thanked it for its presence
and as we walked the circle
i did not leave its side
and by the end the tips of my fingers were all dirty like they were covered with black soot.
i even let go of the wall once and took a picture of steph
and another time i even made it to the railing where we took a picture in which there is a look of complete and utter terror written across my face
and im sure if you look at it you would be able to hear the nervous giggles that signal the onset of a panic attack or the madness of someone who is reaching a point of almost unbearable fear.
no i exaggerate im being dramatic there have been much worse things it actually wasnt even that bad because it wasnt a direct plunge as i had assumed but there was a little lower level that, as steph pointed out, if you were to fall it wouldnt even be that far down, you probably wouldnt even die maybe just break some bones and stuff.
on sunday night we went to sannomiya to go out for drinks and we met some drunk kids.
two boys decided to abandon their friends and follow us around.
they couldnt speak english but i think they understood a little.
they tried to help us find the bar we were looking for but to no avail.
we met a really nice boy holding a sign for karaoke that could speak english and stepped in to translate for us.
we were trying to give them the slip and i think one got it but the other one was really drunk and wouldnt go away but really they were harmless so i wasnt too perturbed.
in the end hideki came and they went off after taking a picture with us that required an insurmountable number of tries (japanese people always say they want to make memories when they want to take a photo which at first held weird sexual undertones for me before i knew what they were talking about and kinda creeped me out).
on monday we went to an onsen (hot springs) up on the mountain in kobe.
we had to take an old train and it was really hot.
we got lost and it took forever to get there.
the onsen was nice and they had a muddy water bath that was i guess really natural that they didnt have in tarumi i guess cause it was way up in the mountain.
the place seemed really nice and there was a hotel and stuff and i think mom might like it.
we couldn't stay too long because we had to meet hideki for dinner.
we met him in tarumi and went for a big sushi meal.
it was a feast
a banquet of sorts
we had sashimi galore and tempura and sushi until our tummies were round and taut and then we went to a little restaurant for dessert.
me and steph had almond cappaccinos or somthing like that that were really tasty
and custardy pudding that was quite delightful
and we all tried to talk.
hideki did his best in english.
but when we tried in japanese it was silent.
i looked at a book of pictures taken of waitresses and their food in diners across america
it was pretty cool.
and then it was over. steph left on the 26th.
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